My Pregnancy Must Have: For Him

I recently posted something for pregnant women and I thought it would be fun to do another post for men. Those who are or who were pregnant can sure relate to this, so if you’re the ‘him’, this might be helpful. Before that, let me tell you that my husband is by no means 100%. Did he do all these things? Yes, but NOT without a fight! Can you expect your partner to do this willingly? Well, it all depends, doesn’t it? Mine sometimes did, but at other times, he’d make sure I know what a hard day he had too. LOL! Let’s refer to the hubby as ‘you’ now…
During my pregnancy, I want you to be a ………… teddy bear.

                                              

No, not this cool daddy-o anymore… but one that worships the ground I walk on. Hahahah! I sound conceited, and yes, I am TOTALLY abusing it. Here is my top 5 list during pregnancy:
  1. You have to be the extension of my arms and legs. You have to carry anything that weighs more than 2 pounds now, and that includes living or non-living things (note: including kids)
  2. Hormones are in control of my body and emotions now so be prepared for a roller coaster ride. When I get all crazy and teary, you have to be as understanding as possible. Don’t argue. Don’t jeer or make snide smart comments. Don’t try to be funny.
  3. The only time you say No is when I ask, Am I getting fat? or any other questions that point to my increasing size.
  4. Due to hormonal changes, there will be water retention and also cramps. A daily rub down is compulsory. It’ll only get uglier if you fight. Take it like a man!
  5. You have to be my doting teddy, comforting pillow and punching bag in times of need.

 

It will only get more impossible during labour. C’mon – the pregnant lady is in tremendous pain and the baby is about to come out. What do you expect??!! It’s more like hormonal imbalanced jittery nervous woman on crack. Either way, you are not the one going through it, so you wouldn’t know. Don’t tell me being on fire hurts more! That doesn’t mean you can escape the whole process either. You have to be by my side, holding my hand as I crush yours during the push. It will be so painful and bloody for me that you might want to faint, but suck it up. I might turn blue during the push so remind me to breathe. I might bite so wear protective gear. I might glare at you but blow me a kiss. I might push you away but be as sticky as you can.
No matter what you say or how comforting you think it might be, I will still want to kill you for impregnating me AND for convincing me to go into labour without the epidural. ‘To have the full experience of labour and motherhood’ my ass! I still don’t know why I went without it the second time. I might scream ‘I’m better off dead!’ but don’t just say ‘OK’. Just bear with it because your pain and mine will all go away as soon as the little one is out, safe and sound. Then, it’ll be whole new set of challenges.
I don’t want you to be a grumpy bear after reading all these. I don’t want you to run away either because your efforts will be futile. It’ll be more like this little teddy, going nowhere on his wooden horse. Yeah, you just keep on rockin’ … with that sad face.
In all seriousness, to my hubby, it wasn’t a joy ride all the way through, but we made it twice! We underestimated the labour second time round with some complications, but we all got through it with no casualties, no severe damages. Making the list above made me realise how hard it was to be the guy too, and how important a role it is. I’m grateful to have a man like you who can do all that and more even though there were many trying times. So here’s a teddy for you.

 

I got a little soft at the end but oh, the memories *sob sob sniff sniff*! Hope you enjoyed this little post, just to show you that guys don’t get off easy either. I know I take mine for granted sometimes, but hey, that’s what they’re here for, right? Hahah! To my husband, Happy 5th Anniversary and Happy Birthday Darling! This post is dedicated to you and all the men out there who treat your women right. Don’t be a douchebag now. LOL!
xoxo
Lily
  • Hanny

    Methinks that the husband/life-partner/common-law husband should do all these things because he was the one who put the bun in the oven, seriously. ^.^ Good post BTW
    My recent post It’s Not A Jumbo-sized Eye Primer… It’s Urban Decay’s Complexion Primer Potion (Pore Perfecting) !

  • Chloe.Ash

    Lol they should huh?

  • Person Responsible

    It's not a single person decision. Won't work if the oven wont heat up 😛

  • jacss

    again very well written with touches of humour…..congrats & happy anniversary to you 😀
    hope yr darling enjoy this post as much as I did …

  • Chloe.Ash

    Yes yes the oven must really heat up first. Lol! All in good fun – the post, I mean ;-P

  • Chloe.Ash

    Aww… Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the post. He was all nonchalant until I pressed for a reaction. Lol! Men. Sigh.