Monthend Randomness: Harmless White Lies

Did you ask many questions when you were a child? If you are a parent to toddlers, you’d know that they ask the toughest questions. So what’s a parent to do? Chloe and Ashlyn are full of questions… Mr Chloe.Ash and I do our best to answer them in all honesty, hoping they will understand. When we don’t know the answers, we own up and get back to them after we find out. However, my parents did it differently. They got creative. To me, they were harmless white lies because we’d find out sooner or later… but still!!



White Lie 1

Q: Daddy, what are German measles?

A: Oh, measles are red spots and you’ll fall ill. The German measles are special because when you use a magnifying glass to look at the red spots, you’ll see a swastika sign!

At the clinic one day when I had measles, my mom asked our family doctor:

Mom: Oh dear, these are not German measles are they? I can’t see the swastika symbol…

Doc: *silence, blank stare, trying to figure out if it was a joke*

Mom: My husband told me that ….. (the whole story)

Doc: Hahahahahahahahah! *nearly fell off the chair*

As soon as my mom got out, she scolded my dad. It’s never occurred to her that Dad would lie about something like that and Dad never expected HER to be so gullible. It was funny though! (edited: My mom is a homemaker and she didn’t have proper education so she trusted dad with all her heart…)


White Lie 2

We had a family trip to Australia when I was 12 and my brother and I were curious about the face on their currency.

Q: Dad, who’s this on the ten dollar note?

A: Harry John Cock.

After the clinic and German measles fiasco, we did our own research and found out it was cock and bull again. Wow, Dad… so creative!


White Lie 3 (edited: I think I asked this when I was about 6)

Q: Mom, how did you give birth to us?

A: You were in my uterus and you just popped out one day (in Cantonese, uterus sounds the same as toe)

Q: Eew… we came out from your toe? Weren’t we flat then?

A: *hesitated* Yes, that’s why I had to blow you up like a balloon. See how big you are now?

Well, of course, I found out sooner or later. Mom said she didn’t know how to explain, so she just played along. Great.


White Lie 4 (last one… there are too many)

Q: Mom, what does a penis look like? **My brother also asked because we were like 6 and 8

A: Well…. it’s like one banana and two rambutans (rambutan: round/oval fruit with long spiky hairs)

Q: But how are they arranged? We can’t figure it out…

A: *silence* The banana can be on top or at the bottom

Q: Huh??

I found out when I was older through a picture in a medicine text book, and my brother found out soon after we asked the question. My dad carried him into the bathroom and showered together. I don’t think my brother cleaned much though… he was too busy laughing.

I hope you enjoyed this little episode. Did you experience anything similar? Do share! It would be fun!!!


xoxo Lily