Can You Lend Me An Ear?

Or your eyes, since you’ll be reading? I feel like I need to talk / rant / ramble. If you’re up to incoherent thoughts, then sit back and humor me 🙂

 

 

random

 

 

Can I complain about some PR people first? If you blog, you might empathize. If you do not blog, then this might be an eye opener. When I agree to accept a product (review not guaranteed), I have all the creative control – which means, I write the review based on my personal opinions and PRs have no say on what to write. I do not send drafts before I post and I do not work well with deadlines. If you tell me that I need to put up a screenshot of your site’s homepage, I’ll tell you no. If you tell me that I MUST write a blog post AND another short one on your online store, I’ll say no (I’m lazy that way). If you tell me that I MUST tell my readers this and that while I never experienced it myself, I’ll tell you to buzz off. So what happened was, with 2 different companies now, AFTER I agreed to accept the products, they send me an email with a bunch of “REQUIREMENTS”.

Can you even comprehend how I feel? I agreed to accept the products and possibly to review them if they’re good, and after we say OK, you tell me I have to do 10 other things? I never agreed to this. I hope these people didn’t think I was desperate for the products, because dude, I can live without any of them and I still have too big a stash to handle. Not to mention all the work I have to do just for a blog post. And the NERVE of them to ask me to give them my UNEDITED photos. How generous do you think I am? I replied that with a price for them to pay. Basically, if you really like my photo, pay me USD500 PER photo. LOL! It was really a polite “fuck off” but hey, if they agree to pay, then why stop them? I have no ads on my site, I don’t get paid anything, so time to make some $, right?

So anyway, this latest case, I had to reply the email immediately to tell them NOT to send me anything until we agree with ALL the requirements first. And knowing myself, I’ll only agree to terms given by me. If not, they can just shove it. Seriously though, I wonder how many bloggers agree to these ridiculous demands? Are these so called marketing people still so fresh that they do not know how to work with us? Have they been working with a bunch of door mats that they think this is OK?

RANT over.

On a happier note…

In exactly 2 weeks, Ashton turns ONE! I am absolutely obsessed with this little man. I am also shamelessly biased – he’s just so cute even when he’s making that face when he poops, or when he pretends to cry, or when he stands with his hands up wanting me to carry him. This is him trying to look cute.

 

 

Image00001

 

 

It’s been tiring, he’s very demanding, and I’m actually exhausted. But you know what? 1 year literally flew past, and I know I’ll be getting more sleep soon. In the meantime, I’ll just enjoy his chubbiness and helplessness because when he starts to exert more of his independence, my little man won’t be so little anymore. Just like the girls. They are now so big, I can have a proper discussion with them! This mom is beaming with pride, and I couldn’t be more blessed, even when the girls do drive me crazy.

That’s my random blahs of the day. It’s a nice break from makeup and skincare 🙂 While life is not the perfect package, it’s THE perfect package of good and bad, ups and downs, just for me and for that, I am thankful.

What are you thankful for?

 

xoxo Lily

 

 

  • ML Chan

    I have much to be thankful for (I think most of us do but just don’t realise it) but chief among them, my good health and gorgeous (in and out!) friends & family.

    Don’t let “those people” get you down. A big part of the problem is a lack of understanding.

    And on that happy note… Happy 1st Birthday, Ashton! 🙂

    • Lily

      Thank you ML! Yes, I am thankful for my family indeed. And I’m thankful for trying for my 3rd pregnancy (was reluctant at first) because I’m blessed with this cute ball of a man. HAHAHA!

  • Chikanoz Boy

    i understand how does a blogger feels especially in the situation u are facing. whatever it is, you are doing good and keep the good style and approach you are doing!

    i am definitely thankful for every single breath i take with good health. 🙂 and happy birthday Ashton. such a cute little boy. have a good weekend!

    • Lily

      Thank you Chikanoz Boy. And yes, we should be thankful for good health which allows us to enjoy life to its fullest.

  • Bella

    The PR debacles sound extremely annoying and amateuristic. I strongly suspect that there are (probably much less experienced or more desperate) bloggers who comply, though. The kinds of services those PR people require do indeed sound like they should be paid for advertisements and marked as such in the review. And that’s not what you do.
    I hear your thoughts and on motherhood and totally understand :D. Mr Ashton is gorgeous, even when he is not trying!!! And even as one is sad when they’re no longer babies, each phase has its new joys (and challenges…..) .Motherhood will be the death of us and yet it’s the very best thing that could ever have happened to us LOLOL! Enjoy <3.
    I am thankful for family, education, safety (not a given for so many) and good health.

    • Lily

      You’re right, Ann. Probably someone more inexperienced might think this is the norm. Then again, even when I was a newb, I was a snob. Teehee. Yes, motherhood be the death of us, but it’s a rewarding happy death nonetheless. HAHAHA!

  • Is too much of me to request for a post on how to handle PR ‘people’ for us newbie bloggers?
    Ash is absolutely adorable!

    • Lily

      Hi Hari, thanks – I agree Ashton is adorable. HAHAHAHAHA!
      I’m not sure if there’s a way to handle marketing / PR from companies. I’m very selective to begin with, and anything that doesn’t sit well from first email gets cut. It really depends on yourself but the one advise given by many that I take to heart is, don’t sell yourself short. I guess my age has a lot to do with it?

  • The PR debate always amuses me. Because I run a small cosmetic company, I also have to run the PR section. Because I blog, I know all the hard work put behind it. I work with a few bloggers, the ones in my city we meet up to chat once in a while. I have never given them conditions, nor told them to write or do such and such. And when they’ve post something I send them, we get really excited about, lol. My brands are newish in Spain, so they understand how hard it is for me and that I have to give out samples and choose my bloggers with care (hello, I don’t have L’oreal’s or Estee Lauder’s deep pockets for example) and vice versa, I understand them. Ok, I guess I’m not your usual PR person, lol. I bet those PR people you talk about probably have never made their own blog before.
    Massive PR rant over from me.
    Your little man is so adorable. Yes, enjoy him in this state while you can, then enjoy him when he does talk you to pieces later. Oh what am I thankful for? I’ve internally been a strop to myself these days, so thank you for reminding me that YES I so have things to be thankful. I’m really enjoying the stuff I’m doing on the piano these days, so I’m thankful that I knwo how to play haha!

    • Lily

      You’re right, Sofia. I’m pretty sure many of them don’t even READ blogs. I understand they’re also very busy, running events, meetings, deadlines, so I’m actually quite impressed with a few seasoned PRs here who actually take their personal time to read my blog posts. They even read those that aren’t related to their brand, and now THAT’s professional.
      Ah yes, we need to be reminded to be thankful because sometimes we can get side tracked 🙂 Playing the piano is such a stress reliever. I’m always thankful my parents paid all the expensive tuition fees for me to play the piano since I was 4 years old.

  • I’m actually in the middle of a PR mishap – I think some PR’s think of us bloggers as cheap alternatives to magazines (more effective, I might add). I told them I’d charge a lot of money for such a tailored post and didn’t want to do it.

    Look at his face! ^-^* Love seeing Ashton’s pics, but I miss seeing the girls’ pics sometimes. I assume they are growing everyday more beautiful like their mom? 🙂

    • Lily

      I do think sometimes we are free alternatives, or even back ups. To be fair, there are some very good PRs out there who understand and even work very well with us. There’s just this other bunch that ruin their game. I realize I haven’t been posting much of the girls’ photos, but they’re getting big now, and I didn’t want to splatter their face all over the internet. Little babies are different, since they grow so fast and no one will recognise them in a year or two. LOL!

  • Frickin’ PR-you can’t demand stuff AFTER you agree. Good for you for telling them off. Proud of you! We all need to stand up for ourselves and not allow them to treat us this way. I’m so so tired of the bull crap. And I wonder too about the bloggers who agree to all the demands-they’re not doing themselves any favours that’s for sure.
    He is SO CUTE omg! I can’t believe how fast he’s grown. Make even me a little sad!

    • Lily

      I still remember our Twitter conversations about this little pea in my tummy, and all the internet aunties 🙂 Yes! We need to stand up for ourselves. In the heat of the moment, I’d be all WTF, go shove it! Then after a day or two, I’d be like, was I too harsh? Hahahaha!!!

  • Hi Lily,
    I am catching up on your blog. So these stuff you told here never happened to me. Here they don”t send much but they are very correct when it comes to terms. Small companies sometimes write some stupid stuff, I never reply. Being a beauty blogger in Germany is exhausting though. Although they are correct, they don”t care about blogs all that much so there is little sample left for us. It is almost always first come first serve. I have to poop with phone in my hand to make sure I don”t miss a blush or a palette hahaha.
    Your little man is so charming!

    • Lily

      LOL Sara… pooping with a phone in your hand to get the samples. HAHAHAHA!!!

  • Liz

    Glad you stood up to them and spoke up! I’ve also quoted prices for certain terms/demands and of course they never want to pay. (My favourite: “We thought you’d find it fun!” Me: “How about you work overtime for free and do it yourself? BYE.”) I say go one step further and start naming them in the future. They’re going to have to revise their strategy eventually.

    ANYWAY. ASHTON, STOP GROWING, YOU CUTIE PIEEEEEE.

    • Lily

      Yeah, what about “exposure for your blog” or “driving traffic to your blog” and stuff like that. How about, I don’t give a shit? LOL!
      Ashton is now talking! He’s calling people correctly, and instead of calling me mommy, he calls me mom-meh. Hehehehe!

  • I really didn’t like the fact that this company treats bloggers like free advertisement. I recently agreed to write for a service. After it was done, i was suppose to post a review. The initial agreement did not state any deadlines. So obviously I would blog when I have time then the PR emailed me said my deadline was due next week. I was like “you should tell me earlier before I even accept your offer not after i was done.” she apologized and said to help her to hit her KPI. So I published one whom i didn’t spend lots of time on a post – cincai write to help her then.

    Ashton!! So cute~~

    • Lily

      Hi Cynthia, I can’t work with deadlines either, especially when the review isn’t paid! I mean, if it’s a paid review, then yes, I’ll show you a draft and work according to your timeline. I think it’s pretty tasteless when extra conditions are given AFTER we accept the products for CONSIDERATION.

  • Hey Lily, sorry I’ve been away!! And it is SO NICE to read this post! Lil Ashton sure is CUUUUTTTEEE, and i wanna see that poopy face!! LOLOL! Ezra is at a stage where he knows what is a tummyache, and we seem to be getting tummyaches every day now. Except I’m never sure if it’s a hungry tummyache, or a poopy tummyache, or even something to be seriously worried about.

    On the other note about PRs, i was just experiencing the same thing myself. Whilst I was away in Italy, a courier kept calling me persistently. And she was desperate to deliver something, which I didn’t know was coming. It was later followed up by the PR emailing me asking me when I was going to blog AND post on IG about the press pack they sent. I basically told her I never guarantee blog posts, and IG yes I will give a shoutout when I am free, but please stop pestering me! My phone bill just for that incidence alone, cost more than what the products were worth. And I am probably never goin to accept anything from that PR or brand ever again! What pisses me off more, is that I see Instagrammers who don’t blog receiving the same press kit, and it makes me wonder why I should put in so much more work for the same thing?

    • Lily

      Hahaha Ezra is at THAT age, huh? There’ll be more funny things to expect, that’s for sure. I would have turned off my phone, Linda! And that’s so annoying that you get pestered. Not very nice at all. I’d tell off that PR if I were you.

  • A lot of brands and firms are getting quite demanding with what they want in return. The list gets absurd more often than not, like trying to claim copyright on your pictures for 10 years and you get 0 in return..

    • Lily

      Next time I get these demands AFTER I accept, I’ll send them the price for it. If they didn’t take the photo, they can’t claim copyright. WTF?